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Laitomma
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Name: Matt and Julie
Interests: Each other, raising a godly family, impacting the world for Christ, growing - individually and as husband and wife.
Expertise: Neither of us are experts, just two people who love each other a lot and are willing to do whatever it takes to make their lives together a success.
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/25/2006
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"Do you Julie Marie Dasher take Matthew Steven Boesch to be
your husband – to live together after God’s ordinance – in the holy estate of
matrimony? Will you respect him, submit to him, love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and
in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in
joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon him your heart’s deepest devotion,
forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him as long as you both shall
live?"
In case you hadn't guessed, that's a copy of our wedding vows (or at least, my half). Over the last few weeks, I've had to struggle with (and come to more fully understand) the highlighted portion. I wanted to share it with you, in the hope that you will be more prepared for the challenges you may face someday.
Six months ago as of Monday, I looked in Matt's eyes and repeated those vows. I am even more committed to them now than I was then. I've also come to more fully comprehend all that they involve. See, forsaking all others doesn't just mean not being interested in other guys, or going to live with him, it's way more than that. I know most of (and hopefully all of) the people reading this love their families very much, and would do almost anything to serve them. Those of you who know me, know that I'm the same way. When I made those vows, my family (although they would miss me) did not necessarily need me. Three months later, as most of you know, the stakes totally changed for them. Jillian was born, and with the honor of having her in the family came a lot of challenges and struggles. I cried many tears over her and my family. It tore me up not being there to help. I didn't regret marrying Matt, not once, but I wished there was some way to be in two places at once. Each time we talked about my going back to help, I made the choice (that I still think was the right one), to stay here with Matt.
However, what I realize now, it's one thing to forsake all others in action, a completely different thing to do it in heart and mind. To completely fulfill that part of the vow, it had to encompass all those areas. Therein lay my problem. Although I was still with Matt, my heart and mind were no longer full engaged as they had been the first few months we were married, especially in the last month or so. That's not to say that I was horrible, or didn't do what I was supposed to, or anything like that, I simply was no longer "constantly bestowing on him my heart's deepest devotion" because my heart was a thousand miles away.
I'm not saying we're no longer to serve our parents, or care for our siblings, or anything like that. Honoring your parents is a biblical command no matter what stage of life you're in. What I am saying, is that forsaking all others and keeping yourself only for that person, means that your first thought, first motive, and first desire, should be for the good of the other person. If you are caught up in the pains and worries of someone else (as I was) you are no longer able to do that. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts that my family is having a hard time, and that Jillian is sick, I'd still love to be there, but I've gone back to my first priority, my husband. In order to fulfill those vows, I have to consistently and completely choose him over any other person or responsibility (outside of God, obviously).
I (after many tears and prayers) finally got myself turned around a couple days ago, and I'm so thankful. Matt told me soon after, "I didn't realize you were gone while it was going on, but it's sure good to have you back." It's good to be back. Back to where I'm supposed to be, bestowing on Matt my heart's deepest devotion.
Sorry this is so long, but there was a lot to say.
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| Matt's:
Having someone smart to talk to at night
Having someone to beat at bowling
Kissing her goodbye before I go to work
Having someone to hold all night long
Watching her get more beautiful every day
Punching lessons
Making her laugh
Good food just the way I like it
Taking trips with her
(Matt dictated this to me, yes I felt vain typing some of it, yes it was like pulling teeth to get him to do it. Julie)
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| Julie's:
Making him dinner and watching enjoyment come out of his pores. (I say
he reeks enjoyement, but I'm not sure if he appreciates that or not 
Using the same suitcase when we go on a trip.
Kissing in front of Isaac or Tiana and hearing them say "Eeeeeeeeeewwww"
Waking up next to him every morning.
*grin* Having him dump me out of bed when I don't want to get up.
Being introduced as his wife.
Praying with him everyday just before he goes to work.
Having him read the Bible aloud to me as I fix breakfast.
Listening to him brag about how the guys at work are jealous of his lunches.
Surprising his brothers with dessert when his paretns are out of town.
Cleaning our house (yes, I actually enjoy that)
Seeing the fact that he thinks I'm beautiful written all over his face.
Matt's:
To Be Continued
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| A housekeeping detail real quick. The meaning of the word Laitomma is explained in the profile section. That said, on to the body of the post.
My dad was teasing me a couple of days ago, but at the same time he brought up a very interesting post. According to people who know these things, 3 of the top 5 stressful things in life are a wedding/getting married, relocating, and starting a new job. The other two are a death in the family and then I think a new child, although I'm not sure on that one. He was giving me grief for what he called "cramming as many stressful things as possible in at once". As I think about it, I have no doubt that the next few months will not be easy by any means. I'm thrilled and excited about marry Matt, as I'm sure you know. I also am very aware that it will come with a lot of new challenges. I'm saying goodbye to the place and the people that have been my life for the last 8 years. That in itself won't be easy. I'm also settling into a new home and new way of life, which I'm sure will be wonderful, but at the same time will bring challengs. I will also be starting a new business that in some ways is an extension of what I've been doing for the last few years, but is more involved. So all in all, the next few months, perhaps even longer won't be easy. However, to focus on that is to miss out on a lot more. Matt's response when we talked about it was "Well, I'm going to take care of you, so it will be ok." That fact, almost more than anything is what makes me sure that I will come through all of it not just surviving but thriving. To be by his side, no matter how difficult the future is all I can ask. My last post I talked about how one of the important things is being able to say yes with no regrets. This post brings another standard. If it is the right decision, you should be able to quote without reservation, meaning every word, what Ruth in the Bible said:
"Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.
Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people
will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I
will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if
anything but death separates you and me."
To be able to say that, though I know that the future may not be easy, though I know it will hold challenges, even though I'm sure there will be struggles and new things to get used to and to learn, if I can say that, then I can say "I do" with peace in my heart.
-Julie-
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| No I am not dead, just very busy doing what a man (or boy is
supposed to do WORK!!!!! My first piece of advice for all the guys out
there when thinking about marriage, is to find a girl exactly like my
Julie in every way. Profound I know, but maybe helpful too. Well until
next time this is the overjoyed groom saying goodbye.
-Matt
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